June 22, 2006
Weird new phase ::
personal — No Tags
9:54 pm
As Jessamyn not-so-obliquely mentioned on Librarian.net, we decided to break up last Friday. Things have been quiet around here mostly because I’ve been dealing with the fallout from that experience, all the while trying to study for the bar. But I’ve also been more than a little trepidacious about talking about it, mostly because I dread the emotional reactions from the people I tell (“are you OK?” Yes. “Are you sure?” Yes. “It’s been almost five years that you’ve been together!” I know how long it’s been). It’s been a weird few days, to be sure, but I’ve been mostly handling it OK; I stayed with Rick and Sarah Sunday to Wednesday, and beginning last night I’m subletting a friend’s apartment in South Royalton. I’ll be living with minimal stuff while I spend all my time on campus (ostensibly) studying for the bar. (Note: I’m taking the advice of one of my friends who a couple years back took the Vermont and New York bar exams back to back, who told me that I shouldn’t start getting stressed out about the bar until after the Fourth of July. Sounds good to me! Where’s the whiffle ball game at?) I’ve also found a lot of support from from a variety of people, including family, to be expected, and from friends, which has been particularly great.
Yesterday Jessamyn and I met for the first time after the break-up to talk about what our post-relationship life will look like, and that has done wonders for the both of us in terms of feeling comfortable with this decision. Here’s a rundown of the facts: she’s staying in the house in Bethel, I’ve moved to South Royalton. We made a deal that I won’t stop by unannounced, and that I would under almost no circumstances go into her room. This is of course a little strange, since it used to be our room, but as I told one of my friends in email, I think it’s a good rule because it stops me from falling back into the old habits that the both of us had developed over five years of being together. The last thing I think Jessamyn or I want at this point is to find ourselves in some grey area where we’re broken up but I’m still coming and going out of her life as before.
So, I’m not going to get into the details here, in part because they would come off as mostly unremarkable to most people, and because, well, I’ve never been one for delving into histrionics or, for that matter, the emotional details of my life. If you’re really interested, so interested you can’t stand it, email me. Or if you want to just drop a line and say hi, you should feel free to do that as well. I’d love to hear from you.
