June 24, 2007
Evidence I’m still here ::
personal — tagged bikes, flickr, freeride, me, montpelier, photos and vermont
11:06 am
Langdon Street Geek Week – Freeride Bike Clean!, originally uploaded by SirStan.
So, its been four whole months since I posted here. In that time I devoted myself to my job at the state house, involved got involved in a serious relationship with a girl from Worcester (Massachusetts, not Vermont), drafted more legislation and attended more judiciary committee meetings than I care to think about, found myself unemployed once again, and got involved with a recently-conceived Montpelier bike cooperative. Above you’ll see a picture of me at one of Freeride’s functions, washing my orange Bottecchia fixed gear.
Speaking of my Bottecchia, the bike has served me well over the past few months (after some serious upgrades—it’s quite a different bike from the one it was before). Fixed gear, it turns out, is definitely a new and interesting biking experience, and seems to be an interesting next step after recovering from my broken hip.
I also turned 31 with a small but important amount of fanfare (which came from my new girlfriend) traveled to Central Massachusetts on several weekends, and started the process of finding more work. I’m not sure what the next phase of my life is going to look like, and in the meantime I’ve really enjoyed once again being between things.
January 29, 2007
Yes, it will probably still hurt ::
personal — tagged broken leg and pain
12:55 pm
Someone found this site by asking Google “I broke my femur [five] weeks ago, should I still be in pain?” Speaking only from my own experience, I definitely continued to experience some pain five weeks after my accident, especially after spending hours in the same place. Generally I found that maintaining a certain level of activity, however minimal, was key to my own pain management. And also remember that pain is tied intimately to your emotions, and therefore what seems like only a mild discomfort to me might be unbearable for you.
January 25, 2007
How doctors (and attorneys) think ::
personal — tagged legal, medical and new yorker
9:20 pm
At first glance, this week’s New Yorker looked like a dud, but then I read this article about how doctors think. More specifically, it was about the fallibility of how doctors think. The author, who is a physician, notes that the method of training MD’s, in which students are “expected to assimilate large amounts of basic science and apply that knowledge as they are taught practical aspects of patient care,” has not changed much over the years, and has on the whole created some truly great physicians. However, it does not create doctors that are complete rational actors— “when people are confronted with uncertainty—the situation of every doctor attempting to diagnose a patient—they are susceptible to unconscious emotions and personal biases, and are more likely to make cognitive errors.” As much as we’d like to think that medical doctors are calculating machines, in reality they are susceptible to human error as anyone else.
Now, I write all this not to slam the medical profession. On the contrary, I find it interesting because it seems to be a condition that all professionals—especially us attorneys—are vulnerable to. Like for example, I remember when I was a second year law student working in criminal defense, our office was dealing with an extradition case. Not sure of the mechanics of extradition, I found I had a hard time getting past the misconception that, because the case was effectively a fight between two states, the U.S. Supreme court had original jurisdiction over the matter. (I was freshly out of Federal Courts class, mind you—not that that’s any excuse.) Although my mistakes over the past two years have become less wild, I definitely make them from time to time, and it’s something I need to be aware of if I want to stay out of trouble.
January 8, 2007
How I’m feeling ::
personal — tagged broken leg, cycling, vermont and work
8:56 pm
Recently I’ve had a lot of people asking how I’ve been doing, mostly with regard to the broken leg, but also in a more general sense. I realized this evening that it has also been quite some time since I last updated this site, so I figured that I would write down the answer to both of those questions, mostly for the sake of being able to remember what it was like at this point in the healing process.
As far as the broken hip is concerned, it’s been healing nicely. Every day it seems I regain some bit of strength and/or mobility in my leg, and each new development reminds me what it’s like not to have to lived with constant pain and weakness in my leg. I’m also able to move around without crutches for short distances. Granted, it’s definitely a hobbling motion, and probably looks a bit ridiculous, but realizing that I’m able to move around without the aid of crutches or—my gosh—a walker does wonders for my morale. I also purchased a trainer just before the New Year, and it arrived at the house today. I spent about 30 minutes on it while I did laundry this evening, and was able to push hard enough to raise my respiration and break a sweat. Granted, it wasn’t nearly the workout I became accustomed to before my accident, but it is something. And like my hobbling, it reminds me of what it’s like to not be broken, and makes me look forward to the day when I’ll be able to take on a 25-mile jaunt to East Calais.
More generally, I’ve been so busy with work that the days have just flown by. The Legislature went back into session the week after New Years, and since then we’ve seen an explosion of activity. Every day I go into work and am reminded of how much I love the work that I do. It’s exhausting, sure, and it takes quite some time to get used to working full time after taking that extended leave of absence after taking the bar exam, but I’ll get used to it again. And I know that it will all be over in a flash and then who knows what will happen next. But hopefully it will entail some time off so I can catch up with family and friends and maybe squeeze in some late Spring traveling.
So I’m still feeling frustrated at times, but overall things are looking up. Being able to see good things in life is definitely a sign I’m on the mend.
January 1, 2007
2006, in retrospect ::
personal — tagged 2006, broken leg, new years and retrospective
8:51 pm
So, happy new year to all readers of this site. I hope the beginning of 2007 finds you happy and healthy, and in the company of people you know and love. I felt compelled to write a New Years post this year in part because my recent accident reminded me of my own mortality, but mostly because of how much things have changed since this time last year and it’s worthwhile to make note of it here.
In January, 2006 I was still in a long-term relationship, was about to enter my final semester of law school, and was on my way to Alabama to visit friends and visit Civil Rights-era historical sites. I knew that my life would change substantially in the upcoming year, but at that point I really had not idea whatsoever what would happen to me or, for that matter, what choices I would make that would fundamentally change my life. Completing law school was a big deal, definitely, but the most substantial change has been the breakup, mostly because up until June of last year, I had been planning out a future—at least nominally—with another person, but in the matter of one evening all of those plans just, well, disappeared, and I suddenly was living a life of chaos while I tried to figure out just what was going to happen to me next.
Since then I have taken the Vermont Bar exam, lived on the verge of homelessness for a few weeks, traveled to the Midwest, traveled to California, moved into a new place in Montpelier, made a bunch of new friends, passed the Vermont bar exam, dealt with the newness and excitement—as well as the loneliness and insecurity—of being 30 and single, received my license to practice law, broke my first bone, and gone in for my first full-blown surgical procedure. So, the last emergency notwithstanding, I’ve come along pretty well in my effort to make a new life for myself. But with that, I think one day I will look back on this year with a sense of nostalgia, remembering it as a pivotal time when I started a new phase in my life. But right now all I can think about is how emotionally and intellectually trying it’s been, and I want to just move on to 2007.
December 20, 2006
Broken ::
personal — tagged broken leg, cycling, family, friends, healing and injury
4:38 pm
Nearly two weeks have passed since I broke my leg while I was out biking. It may sound crazy to you, I know, the idea that I was out on my bike in 40 degree weather, at 8 AM before work. It may sound even crazier to you that I hit black ice and landed directly on my hip, cracking my hip bone and part of my femur. But that’s what I did. And if I told you that I had surgery the same day, and that for the past two weeks I’ve been recovering from a procedure in which an orthopedic surgeon placed an 18-inch rod along my femur in order to set the break, you might become so incredulous that I could sense it from where I sit. But that’s what’s happened.
The accident and the surgery sounds crazy, I know, which is part of the reason I woke up from surgery crying. It’s also the reason I’ve felt so emotionally overwhelmed over the thirteen days. The other reasons for the emotion include the help that friends and family have offered while I get better. I’m actually staying at a friend’s house right now, because she has only one stair and a walk-in shower. I can’t think of a time when I’ve felt more cared for, or more dependent on people. It’s a strange place to be in, a position I’m not altogether comfortable with, but I also realize I need these people around right now, so I’ll just have to accept it.
If you’re concerned about my current physical state, you shouldn’t be. I just had my first post-operation doctor’s appointment today, and they seemed happy with the way the break has stabilized, and they have told me I should start bearing weight on the leg. They told me this in spite of a rather scary-looking X-ray that depicted a splinter of bone that came off the site of the fracture. I shouldn’t worry too much about that, they say, it’s a normal part of the healing process. And the pain is something I should work through at this point. I find much of this hard to believe, especially when I think about waking up at 3 AM, stiff and having to pee, feeling like nothing has changed since the time I woke up from surgery. I’ll just have to take the doctors at their word that I am in fact healing, and move forward.
I’ll try to post X-rays at some point that show the break as well as my new hardware. That will at least support my assertion on the operation. As far as everything else is concerned, you will just have to take my word for it, I suppose.
November 30, 2006
Last post/first post ::
personal — tagged buffalo, family, thanksgiving and travel
11:59 pm
As I’m writing this post, we seem to be closing in on Midnight. So, depending on when I finish this up, it could wind up being the last post of November or the first post of December. We’ll see what happens—you’ll be able to tell how inspired I was as I wrote this based at least in part on the end date.
So the trip out to Buffalo went pretty well. I noticed that it was the first Thanksgiving I’d spent with my family in four years, which is strange. It’s not like Thanksgiving is a particularly huge event with my family, but it is a fairly substantial American holiday, and you’d think I would have made some effort at some point to get out to see them. But alas, no. My excuse? Law school and being involved in a long term relationship.
Anyway, now I’m back in Vermont, where it was 60 degrees and sunny today. Totally creepy. But the job is keeping me busy, and I’m still able to bike like crazy. Josh can back me up on this—he saw me on one of my sprints through Barre the other morning. So I don’t have much time to think about the probability that these unseasonably warm temperatures signify a more significant climate change brought on by global warming. On the bright(er) side, they’re predicting snow by this weekend, so things could be quite different by Monday.
Update: Check out the time on that post!
November 23, 2006
Thanksgiving ::
personal — tagged buffalo, family, holidays, sick, thanksgiving and travel
11:51 am
I’ve been sick for the last week or so. It’s nothing serious—mostly a post-nasal drip thing that has kept me from sleeping all that well. So other than having a perpetual sore throat and felling a little groggy during the day, I mostly feel just fine.
Oh, and with it being Thanksgiving and all, I am once again in Buffalo hanging out with the family. This is the fourth time I’ve made it here in 2006, and it’s the first Thanksgiving with my parents since they moved here. With that in mind, I don’t necessarily feel like this trip is heavy with meaning, but it also isn’t entirely meaningless, either. There should be some photos and possibly a more lengthy narrative posted here once I’ve been here a while and have had some time to let something happen.
November 20, 2006
Winter cycle ::
personal — tagged cycling and vermont
10:40 pm
In many ways, November is the best month for cycling. There’s something about getting up early in the morning and heading out for a 30 minute uphill ride that shakes away the lingering exhaustion from the night before. I’ve found that even on those days after a fitful night’s sleep, I can go on a ride and come back, red-faced, fingers numbed, eyes wet from the freezing wind, feeling like I’d gotten a full night’s rest. There’s no way I could take the same ride on a morning in July and feel as invigorated.
I was reminded of this feeling when I went out for a ride this morning. At 7:30 AM the temperature hovered 30 degrees. I headed out this morning with two layers of thermals, jeans rolled up (of course) over long underwear, and a sweater. Starting out, the ride was painful, my fingers numb and my ears and cheeks stinging, but once I got into the ride and had to focus on ascending the first hill, I forgot about the cold entirely, pushing upward.
The single best part of riding like this is the smell I bring back from the outdoors. It’s the smell of the country, of dirt and cold. It’s one of the most vibrant smells I can imagine, and when I come inside I sit for a moment and enjoy it before the chill starts to set in. I feel alive.
One week, one day ::
personal — tagged politics, vermont and work
7:25 pm
I started my new job last week. I won’t be talking about my work at all here, except for in the most general terms. That said, here’s some general background: as a law clerk for Vermont Legislative Council, it’s my job to perform legal research and help draft statutes for members of the Vermont Legislature. Although it may sound like I spend my days locked in a windowless office in front of a computer searching WestLaw, the position actually entails much more than that. Namely, I’ll be working directly with the members, discussing legal matters with them, and advising them as they make different policy decisions. And of course, that work is complemented by plenty of time spent in front of a computer in a windowless office searching Westlaw. So it’s a nice contrast, and should keep the work interesting.
But that’s that. You should know that, at least in the professional realm, I’m quite happy indeed.
November 7, 2006
Where I’ve been ::
personal — tagged bethel, montpelier, personal, recap and vermont
3:23 pm
The contractors are outside the house, dismantling the rotten porch. What started as a small project involving some joists and a couple hours under the porch on some Saturday has developed into a pretty substantial home renovation. But it’s been fun listening in on the contractor’s conversations, which for the most part don’t get much beyond their parroting lines from South Park back and forth to each other. (If you can imagine two middle aged guys with Vermont accents doing that, you might crack a smile.)
I’m in here, posting to this site for the first time in, what, three weeks? It’s been quite some time. But as has become the standard, you can assume that if I’m not writing, there’s a reason. Actually, there are multiple reasons. They are:
A trip to Washington DC to visit Robin. It was really a great, though pretty whirlwind, trip. I saw a couple of friends from Vermont Law, one of whom I hadn’t seen since before he graduated back in 2005. I also (finally) saw the Wrens play, at the Black Cat no less. It was an amazing show. Unfortunately, I have no photos to share, though here’s a picture of the two hand stamps I got—one to get me in and the other, of course, to get me to the bar.
A new job! That’s right, I am employed, and will be until May. I’ll be working at the state house, where I’ll be clerking for Legislative Council, dealing with judiciary matters. As near as I can tell, the job entails dealing with criminal, constitutional, and judicial matters, and I’ll be working closely with legislators throughout the legislative process. It’s pretty much a dream job, and I still don’t quite believe I got it.
This weekend consisted of two parties, one trip to Bethel and one to East Bethel. It involved some substantial driving and some really great interactions with friends, including people I hadn’t seen in quite some time.
I also stopped by the old Bethel house to get the last of my stuff, which has been sitting up in the attic for the past four months or so. That was a lot harder than I expected it to be, but it’s over now, and I feel like I’ve made my final break from that house. While there, I helped my landlady with a computer problem and took Shamus for one last walk, which gave me an opportunity to say goodbye and remember that, as hard as the past few months have been, I’m in a better place now.
So, as I survey everything that’s happened since I last posted here, I realize that I should feel pretty great about my life. I’ve passed the bar, set myself up in Montpelier at a place where I can afford the rent and I really like my roommates, I have a new job that will involve interesting, important work and hopefully lead to something more permanent; I continue to meet great people and do a pretty good job of staying in touch with old friends; but for whatever reason, I continue to feel a little sad. Maybe I’m still in the process of separating myself from my old life, or maybe, despite all my social interaction, I still feel alone. In any event, I don’t feel terrible, and I know it will be just a temporary thing—if nothing else, work starts next Monday and after that I just won’t have the time to worry about such things. But in the meantime, some insight into all of this would be helpful. If you have any, send it my way?
September 24, 2006
Weekend round-up ::
personal — tagged canada, funny, montreal, music, travel and vermont
12:13 pm
Well, quite a bit has happened since the last time I posted about passing the Vermont Bar Exam. (Yes, by the way, I mention it again because I’m still so psyched about passing.) Mostly my life has involved not having enough time during the day and not getting enough sleep at night. But I’ve been reading a lot, keeping up with things online, hanging out with friends, and travelling. So all in all, the fact that I’m exhausted really isn’t that big of a deal—I’ll be sure to get some sleep sometime soon.
So on Friday evening one of my roommates comes home with a friend of his from high school. They were planning on going out to eat, I asked to join them. We decided on this local Indian place, which is attached to the lobby of this hotel just south of town on Route 12. So it’s kind of an innately surreal place to begin with. We get there and I find that it’s one of those places run by an Indian family—it’s clear from watching the four or five people standing at the front counter that they all know each other and are chatting about whatever.
So we come up to the front counter, and the guy there says to us in heavily accented English, “hello, 27!”
We tell him we want to place an order, and his response is the same: “27.” But this time he hands us menus. One of us said we loved Chicken Tikka, I told him that I would like the Chicken Vindaloo, extra spicy. Then one of the other guys of the restaurant group says that it will be the best Indian food I’ve ever had. Anywhere. Something about his use of superlatives made me trust him less. But before my roommate could place his order, everyone in the restaurant group cleared out and filed into some back room, leaving us there alone.
It was unclear what was happening. I asked myself if I’d even placed an order. Then we started looking around and noticed that only a few of the tables were actually set, and others had pots and pans strewn all over them. The room smelled like paint, and the kitchen wasn’t in working order—there was equipment pulled from the walls and more pots and pans strewn over countertops that should have had dishes in various stages of preparation. Then when I noticed the table with the half-empty bottle of Black Velvet on it I realized what was going on—the restaurant wasn’t open, it was in the midst of renovation. And—could it be?—the proprieters of the restaurant were getting drunk.
Oh and 27? The restaurant is scheduled to reopen on September 27th. I’ll be sure to be there, ready to order my Chicken Vindaloo.
So then yesterday Brian and I headed up to Montreal to see Lambchop. The show was really great—Lambchop is a particularly interesting band for their ability to fuse soul and country western music and come up with a gentle, folky, but impassioned sound that is very unique. Also, I was really impressed with the crowd at the show—whereas in many venues in the US crowds would only give half their attention to a band like Lambchop, whose music lacks the immediacy of other louder and faster bands on the indie rock scene, I really got the sense that the crowd was paying attention to the music and getting into it, even though it took a certain amount of work to do that. And they cheered like crazy at the end of every song. So how great is that?
September 22, 2006
Vermont bar results (the news is good) ::
personal — tagged insomnia, legal and vtbar
7:26 am
Just a quick note to announce that I passed the Vermont Bar Exam. Needless to say, I’m absolutely extatic about this. Since I received the notice (last night at 9:30, I was the first one home so I got the mail) I’ve gone through feelings of excitement, relief and, this morning, an odd sense of calm. The net result being that I woke up really early and couldn’t get back to sleep. Strange, that.
So now that period of my life is over and I can start figuring out what to do next. In the meantime, if you’re inspired to extend job offers or just notes of congratulations, you can reach me by email, which is linked on the left there.
September 12, 2006
The bar exam stress index? ::
meta, personal, legal — tagged legal, meta and personal
10:05 am
So, I was looking at my site usage stats this morning, and noticed a pretty clear pattern emerging. Of the top 20 search terms that resulted in links to pageswithin.com, I found six that had something to do with the bar review or the July bar exam: “july 2006 bar exam results,” “pmbr lawsuit,” “bar exam results july 2006,” “pmbr,” “bar exam blogs,” and finally, “bar exam results.” That’s kind of surprising, since I really didn’t post all that much about my bar exam experience.
But then, to be fair, I didn’t post all that much generally to this site during that time.
September 10, 2006
Enjoying the view ::
personal, vermont — tagged cycling and vermont
12:38 pm
So, this weekend has proven to be quite an adventurous one. Yesterday Josh and I headed out to the Millstone Pathways festival, which consisted largely of our participation in a biking parade that went from the Barre Granite Museum to the start of a newly-opened bike trail in Barre Town. We had lunch, and I learned about the current status of the trails. And most importantly, I got some maps and some great ideas on for bike rides that I’ll be able to take before winter sets in and makes biking pretty much impossible.
Then today I got up kind of early and headed out to explore the trails, using the maps I’d collected from yesterday’s festival. I got all the way to the Grand Lookout at the top of Millstone Quarry, which has some truly stellar views (see above, as well as here, here, and here). Really, it was one of the best bike rides I’ve been on in recent memory, and as summer ends and autumn makes its presence known, I’ve started to remember how much I love the season, with its chilled northwestern winds, gorgeous foliage, and thoughts turning toward winter.
Oh, and get this: there was a raffle at the Pathways Festival, and with my registration I won second prize, which was a two-day stay at the Millstone Hill Lodge. Not too bad. I can’t be sure, but I think this is the first raffle I’ve won. So not too bad at all.
